Giving up is easy.

But the pain that follows is usually much greater than the pain you wanted to avoid when you gave up.

It may not be a conscious calculation, but people give up and quit when they think the pain they feel in the present is greater than the pain that will follow.

But what if it isn’t? What if the grass isn’t greener?

For example, when some people (not all) divorce, they feel great on the other side…until they start to ask “what if?”. What if I stayed longer? Tried harder? Did more? Complained less? Gave more? Encouraged more?

It’s not just divorce. This applies to most things we stop doing because it’s hard or difficult or doesn’t feel good. But when our feelings drive us, THEY BECOME OUR MASTER.

How do we learn to go on the offense instead of defense? To be proactive, not reactive?

It starts with WHAT WE BELIEVE, NOT HOW WE FEEL.

It starts with making choices and knowing WHY we chose what we chose.

It begins by not blaming! Your feelings are not the fault of your circumstances or the fault of others. You can’t make me angry. You can stir up the anger I already have. You can draw out the sadness I already feel. But you can’t MAKE these feelings inside me.

Can you hurt me? Sure. You can hurt me with your words more than you fists. You can hurt me by what you don’t say or what you do say. But my response is mine…not yours.

Next time you want to give up and quit, spend some time asking yourself why? Why do you want to make the choice you’re about to make?

I’m not saying you should never quit something….but KNOW THE WHY behind your choice.

Let the why be stronger than the feelings.